


Knife heels & heists

by Wordywizard



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Crack, F/F, Fluff, Formal event, Heist, M/M, Post-Canon, heist prep, no beta we die like quynh, team fic, they're all ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:48:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26302177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordywizard/pseuds/Wordywizard
Summary: After Quynh and Booker's return, they're going on a mission in a billionaires party and have to get dressed up to do so. Basically just the old guard in formal wear
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Quynh | Noriko, Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 3
Kudos: 79





	Knife heels & heists

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the gay guard discord server for slowly helping me come up with these ideas and fueling more. You're responsible for this.

It was the group’s first mission after Quynh and Booker’s return. They were infiltrating a billionaires mansion during a party which unfortunately required formal dress. The mission was simple, pose as guests using the invites that Booker had forged and leak some information on said billionaire’s many crimes. Nile personally thought the second part of the plan which involved stealing heavily protected information and getting it to the right party would be the most difficult but the rest of the guard seemed much more troubled at the prospect of dressing up and attending the party.

Booker attempted to throw on an old ill-fitting discoloured 70s suit with a thick ugly patterned tie that was only fit for fire fuel. His shoes were a little better but still not nearly good enough to get into a party for a multi-billionaire and his rich friends. With his gelled back hair he looked like a 1970s car salesman. 

“Do you have any other suits?” Nile said cringing. She had almost grown accustomed to these fossils but every once in a while she was reminded just how out of touch they were.  
“What is there a stain?” Booker asked as he looked himself over. 

“No, you just look like a sleazy 1970s wall street tycoon in that suit. We’re supposed to blend in.” Joe said looking up from his sketchbook. He was wearing a well-tailored black suit with a matching black tie. He’d sketched booker’s look both for posterity and blackmail.  
“Not here,” Booker said sheepishly. 

Nicky walked into the room and looked booker over and nodded simply. The safe house they were staying at was a small conjoined two-story house about an hour away from the mansion.

“Looking good, Book. What do you think, Habibi?” Nicky asked doing a little twirl in his kilt. It was a fairly simple black and white affair on top while the kilt itself was official queer tartan. The fabric was vibrant with prominent red, blue and green stripes.

“No, Booker is not looking good which is a problem because none of our suits will fit him and we don’t have time to get a new one for him,” Joe sighed, shoulders sagging.

“How is it that only Joe has any sense of fashion?” Nile said, shaking her head. She was wearing a sleek gold floor-length dress that glittered like gold. She had her hair up in a simple bun held with only a few pins. 

“Andy can clean up decently well and Quynh has always been fashionable but these two are hopeless,” Joe replied, gesturing at Booker and Joe.

“But you love me. So what do you think…” Nicky said as he did another quick spin sending his Kilt billowing out around him.  
“You look lovely in it,” Joe said fondly. He flipped a page in his sketchbook and began sketching his beautiful husband. His hands worked quickly like a man possessed but with a confidence which spoke to both his talent and his familiarity with his subject.

“Which is strange for you,” she said eyeing him suspiciously. She walked to the edge of the room near a set of outdoor foldable wooden they had decided was adequate for a dining set.

“That’s because my darling husband helped me choose it.” Nicky’s eyes lit up and he grinned goofily with pride. 

“I just helped guide your eye.” Joe smiled quietly to himself. He glanced up quickly to take Nicky in quickly before returning to his drawing.

“So what are we going to do about me?” Booker raked his hands through his hair and stared awkwardly down at the floor.

“I’d say you should wear it to the mission but you’d blow the rest of our cover…” Joe mumbled. He bit the tip of his pencil as he stared meaningfully at Booker.

“So…” Booker looked at his toes sheepishly.

“So what, Bookie?” Nicky said. He sat down next to Joe on the loveseat. Nicky quickly peaked at Joe's sketch and smiled fondly. Joe’s love for him was obvious in the drawing.

“So what should I do?” Booker fell into an armchair across the room from Joe, Nicky, and at this point Nile. “Stay back?”

“No if I have to do this so do you, Book,” Nicky said as he’s desperately tried to fix his bowtie which was always just a bit too uneven.

“I still don’t get why you guys are treating this like it's such a chore,” Nile said, eyeing a flimsy foldable wooden chair in the corner of the room. Carefully she sat down in the chair. It squeaked and shook as she sat in it. She was surprised that it didn’t collapse under her because it looked like if you breathed on it too hard it would fall apart.

“We just don’t fit in with the cutting edge, Nile and if anywhere is modern and sleek it's these sorts of soirées,” Nicky enunciated. 

“I can pose as the driver!” Booker jumped out of his seat with a grin. “These sorts of events always have drivers and they aren’t held to the same standards,”

“It would work-” Nile started.  
“But then he doesn’t have to deal with the whole party,” Joe barked. Nicky nodded his head in agreement as he scouted closer to his husband.

“Do you have any other ideas?” Nile pointed out. She was feeling the urge to pinch her nose but she resisted. “Where are Andy and Quynh? they might have some better ideas,”

“Still getting ready,” Booker said. He had heard them through the wall of his room as they were getting ready. 

In the other room, Andy and Quynh had been arguing for about half an hour. Now, of course, they wouldn’t call it an argument more of a disagreement than an argument that usually involved at least one death. They were both sitting on opposite sides of the bed.

“Look Andromache where have you hidden the rest of the dress,” Quynh asked. 

“That’s all of it and don’t let me remind you that you insisted that you’d wear a dress,” Andy commented cooly. She had on a fitted black suit with a grey waistcoat and a black tie. Her shoes were also black with two-inch heels. This raised her to about six feet in height.

“That’s because I’m still not sure what this ‘suit’ thing is.” Quynh was holding the dress out in front of her. It was a last-minute purchase because everyone else had bought outfits before Quynh’s return and booker always had something lying around. The mission had been in the works for a while; they were just waiting for the perfect opportunity. 

“It’s what I’m wearing. What do you think by the way?” Andy walked over to in front of Quynh and gestured at herself. She tried not to seem concerned with Quynh’s opinion but Quynh could always see right through her.

“You look...lovely,” Quynh said smiling at Andy adoringly. “Breathtaking, my heart I can assure you,”

“Thank you, my love.” Andy blushed. It was strange having the love of her life back with her after so long. The slight shyness to old compliments was to be expected. Of course, this didn’t mean that Andy was proud of how every small compliment, flirtation, look, or even just Quynh’s presence could Barrell her over and leave her floundering for words.

“But the rest of the dress?” Quynh questioned. She was holding out the dress and pointing at the sleeves accusatorily. 

“That’s the whole dress,” Andy huffed exasperatedly. She’d chosen the dress for Quynh because she didn’t know anything about formal wear in the modern age. Andy had of course chosen something that would both fit the environment and be something Quynh would like. She still knew exactly what Quynh liked and her general size though she had lost some weight due to her time in the sea.

“Then where the hell are the sleeves?” Quynh asked. She remembered the days when sleeves in dresses were the most prominent feature. Mind you she never liked those dresses but still. 

“Oh, it doesn’t have sleeves. It’s more sleek and modern that way and for these sorts of parties you’ve got to maintain that.” Andy scratched the back of her head.

“Ah, I see. Well turn around so I get this on without your gawking, my heart,” Quynh said, making a little circle with her hands to tell her to turn around. Quynh was slightly relieved. She’d grown an aversion to tight and heavy outfits. It reminded her way too much of being trapped.

“Gawking? How dare you!” Andy exclaimed playfully. She did turn around and waited for a signal that she could turn around. She waited awkwardly, fiddling with her hands unable to figure out where to put them. It was only a minute but to Andy, it felt significantly longer. She ran her hands through her hair checking to see that everything was still in order and as a benefit giving her something to with her hands. 

“Andromache…I think I’m going to need you to zip me up,” Quynh said pointing to her back. Andy turned around and her breath hitched Quynh was so beautiful. 

Andy approached Quynh from behind and grabbed the small metal zipper on the back of Quynh’s dress and pulled slightly bringing the zipper up. Quynh had tied her hair up in a simple braid making it easier for Andy to zip her up. 

“What are those?” Andy asked.

“My heels, remember you said they were the standard for formal wear in this century?” Quynh said nonchalantly. 

“Yes, but what is up with the heels?” Andy asked, pointing at the heels of Quynh’s shoes which appeared to have been sharpened to points. The shoes were very simple besides that one fact, black and plush.

“It’s always good to have a backup weapon, my heart.” Quynh slipped them on. Wobbling terribly she grabbed onto Andy for balance. She held Andy tightly by her shoulders as she pressed her head against Andy’s chest. Stabilizing herself she lifted her head and slowly let go of Andy.

“Quynh you look...stunning,” Andy said, staring at Quynh. She then turned to open the door to hide her growing blush. “Let’s go see how the rest of the team have cleaned up”  
“Don’t tell me you’ll be...distracted during this mission,” Quynh teased.

“I think I can handle myself,” Andy answered stubbornly.

“Alright then let’s go and see how the younglings have cleaned up,” Quynh declared, walking out of the room already getting the hang of the heels.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I did use what are those no it was not intentional... at first


End file.
